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Is it too much to ask?

shrugs

It was a sunny day but in my world it was always gray. But Once there was a time when everyday was always sunny,

what the fuck is happening?
Sometimes, I could get my shit together, trying to figure out life and make dreams.
another times, I would just lay, sit or whatever , scrolling to memes all over my instagram and cry.
Crying is a daily routine that I shouldn’t miss
I would do it till i feel tired and fall asleep.
I am exhausted feeling this way all over again.
I try to be better everyday but small things often triggered me.
It probably takes only 2 minutes to ruin the whole thing
and It takes minimum a fucking week to get back and clear my mind from the mist.
I don’t know if I am feeling better or just in a point where i don’t care about life anymore.
Insecurities, Anxiety,and other shitty feelings keep coming to me.
I am trying my best to look like  happy
but most of time, I failed
I don’t want to bring negativity all over my circles
I tried to hide, I tried to be happy but it was all temporary.
Worst thing, I am afraid to push my closed one away.
I am in a battle with my mind and heart.
sometimes, I would think that he doesn’t really deserve this,
That there are so many beautiful and happy individual out there
but he chose me
I know that if i constantly being in this condition, I might slowly pushed him away.
I never want that to happen, not in a million years.
I just don’t know what to do to overcome this feeling.
I don’t know..
I don’t even know why i feel this way
Everything is perfect
A loving boyfriend, A loving bestfriends and freedom.
what more that I want?
 maybe I put high expectations
then I slowly realize nothing last forever
and It fucking hurts
I seen shit in my life, the not fairytale story.
People leave and I hate that.
I just wished they simply never leave.
Is that too much to ask?

 

Journal · Relationship

Paris|A Temporal Reality

Note : Paris in this case, is not about Eiffel tower or the literal city. It is about some sort of temporal reality to escape the current situation. I wrote this because a song  ‘ paris’ by the chainsmokers clearly depicts what i am currently going through.

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Journal

My Friend

Note : If you experience something like this, You’re not alone. There are actually countless people out there facing this problem. It takes time to find that you’re not alone but for those, who never experience something like this and happen to read. I beg you to not label them as weird or freak, it just their way to cope up with their problems. You better be listening and be nice to them.

Continue reading “My Friend”

Technology

The Power of Instagram Hashtag | Attracting more Audience

Disclaimer : This article is written under the same topic about ” Decoding Digital Marketing Through Instagram”. The truth is that there is no easy way to earn nickel and dime, only hard work and perseverance will do.

Continue reading “The Power of Instagram Hashtag | Attracting more Audience”