Journal · Relationship

Paris|A Temporal Reality

Note : Paris in this case, is not about Eiffel tower or the literal city. It is about some sort of temporal reality to escape the current situation. I wrote this because a song  ‘ paris’ by the chainsmokers clearly depicts what i am currently going through.

I would like to begin by quoting from Clifford Stumme via

“Paris is about a young couple that is struggling to find independence and to escape some unpleasant aspect of a reality they left behind. However, temporarily they construct a false reality and try to maintain it. Objections will try to break through, but their source of strength will be each other. and they’ll maintain that relationship as they try to be something better than anyone expects they can be.”

” We were staying in a Paris to get away from your parents” 

This very first sentence got me to a point where my eyes lighted in an agreement. I would say that I had been in that position. Well, yes  I get away from people  I called ” family”. It was easier when we both together; Us against the world. Then, things get rougher as we back on a long distance term.

” I don’t know if it is fair but i thought how could I let you fall by yourself while I am wasted with someone else”

Well, although this is a bit irrelevant but yeah, he helped me. He couldn’t let me see falling myself of into another constant pit of depression. We kinda helped each other escaping things we would like to escape. I would say, We did it.

” if we go down, then we go down together, they’ll say you could do anything, they’ll say that I was clever”

I knew it very well that when we both were together, we seemed to have it all, we faced every problems together. We were just very strong and even now when people looked at our Instagram pictures, They say ” You both are full of love” , ” so much love in those eyes”. We could do anything together yet now we are separated by miles and it feels as if half of me is missing.

” If we go down, then we go down together, we’ll get away with everything let’s how them we are better”

When we were together, It’s easy to do all this. To simply be against everything in our life, if you go down, then I’ll do it too. It was that simple because we have each other. but anyway, we did, we get away with everything and trying to show that we are better without them. However, It’s not easy as it looks right now, as it seems I fight these battles alone. I don’t know, maybe it’s the distance, maybe I am accustomed to live with him for quite sometimes and that was the only thing I want in my life.

” You look so proud standing there with a frown and a cigarette, posting pictures of yourself on the internet”

Just take a look at every post I made at Instagram. full of happiness, full of love, I was at the happiest stage of my life when nothing else matters. I want to show the world that we did it!. We escape from reality and have each other.

” Out on the terrace we breathe in the air of this small town, on our won cuttin class for the thrill of it getting drunk on the past we were living it”

Well, we did crazy things together, we create thrills every thrills, and definitely we talked about past and everytime we talked about it, it’s like erasing them from our mind, from our directory of documents. Yes, the past is gone but the fear of future suddenly haunted us, especially myself.

” let’s show them we are better”

It’s not easy as it sounds. It never was. Especially when you both begin to live separately again. It just, I wonder with my mental state and everything, will I be able to make it?. At some point in my life, I want to show them that I can do it. That they actually know nothing about me. That I can shine one day. This last part was somehow my goals in life,to show people  that I can actually do better.

A friend told me, If you see a lot of problems in your life it means God want you to be stronger and more successful. This time will pass. You’ve already achieved so much in your life, fight a little more and you’ll know that, what matter is the journey and one day it will be worth it.


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